I’ve been thinking
Right, I know this is an old subject, but i’ve been thinking about it lately because of something one of my close friends said.
am I really wrong for not likeing the guy who told me he loved me, and wanted to be with me, and then telling one of my best mates i’m a weird obssesed bitch?
I’ve been saying to myself, well maybe the fall out was my fault, maybe if I didn’t go a long with it everything would be fine (Because he did have a girlfriend at the time) and yes that did bother me, and I said on more than one occation that he should stop saying these things while he has a girlfriend, But I’ve liked him for so long, and I sat by while he went out with My best friend and then a new girl and then another, so I was so amazed when he told me he liked me.. I couldn’t pass a chance over
I really liked him (I will name him person A so we don’t get confused) so we tryed to see if we could work, but we didn’t because he loved the girlfriend he dumped (On Valentines day) and in all honesty I was okay with that, we gave it a chance and it didn’t work, so I was happy, untill the next day he said he would rather me and he was going to wait untill he knew what he really wanted to do, at this point I was rather confused and though that he should really make his mind up, because it’s not fair on neither me nor her, but Obvs, I followed blindly with what he said… I thought I was in love for god sake :L
I finaly find out the next day that he was then going back out with this girl, so Okay, I left it at that and just said Okay, hope eveything goes well in the hope that everything will be forgoten and we can still be friends.. yada yada yada…
but when I said that, he told me he still likes me and that he hopes ‘one day’ we will have out chance together. me still being stupid and blindly believing him, I just went along with it.
I managed to get myself a new boyfriend,(Person B) somebody who really seemed to care about me at this point (even though we had MANY fall outs before this) this was one of his bestfriends, but I did like him at the time, but at that point my heart obvs bellonged to person ‘A’ so I was really confused, but just trying to get over everything, at this point person A is still telling me that he thinks I might be the one for him, while he has a girlfriend, and i’m going out with his friend,
He started texting me telling me he really liked me again and how he wanted to be with me but, was to confused to do anything about it and that him and his Girlfriend had still have to sort things out, but I thought maybe this was my second chance and told him how much I still like him and how it would be nice to try again.
the next day I find out ‘person A’ had told my boyfriend about these text due to feeling to Guilty. Did he show his girlfriend … No? obvs he didn’t feel that guilty, so I got dumped that day
‘Person A’ said sorry but he felt bad, but didn’t think that ‘Person B’ would brake up with me…I mean really, Would you think he would stay with me after that? No….
So at this point me and Person A are talking how we could be together one day and how we could be happy, if him and his girlfriend don’t get things sorted out soon enough, at this point I was starting to have enough, I didn’t wanna be second best all the time, I didn’t want to be his back up on everything … It was to hard and confusing and at the end of the day it then meant I could have nothing, because as long as he was saying this stuff to me, I would follow him blindly…
So I started to just try and get out of the house more with different people, and I met my current best friend who was friends with Person A and very close friends with his Girlfriend, me and him started talking about loads of stuff, and I find out that person A had been saying I’m weird, and that he woudn’t go near me, and how im obsessed, and I tryed my hardest to brake him and his girlfriend up…What the hell?
I understand him saying that stuff at some point, but it just got to me, so I had to tell my bestfriend the truth, I mean, I wasn’t gonna be made out to be a weirdo bicth just for him, and obvs since hes friends with person As girlfriend hes gonna think i’m a bitch for that..so I wasn’t going to be made out to be a liar and a weirdo for something I didn’t do
So I showed my bestfriend the chatlogs on msn and everything I could to prove that I was telling the truth and then he believed me… and showed person A all this proof and that he knew he was a liar, and then obvs person A went a bit phyco and screamed and kicked off
I haven’t talked to him in months, and I haven’t talked to him since everything was proved.. Was I really in the wrong here? I don’t think I was… I was stupid and shouldn’t have gone along with it, but at the end of the day… I was 15 and though I was gonna spend my life with this guy
He was perfect, and I really wanted him…but now I just sit back while he makes up lies about me, obvs at this point he means nothing to me, but I do just think back and wonder what would have happend if I just didn’t go a long with it, if we would still be friends, cos he was the best person ever, the only person I could talk to hours on end, obvs he wasn’t that great and maybe I haven’t lost that much, but I still feel a little sad about it at times, he was a close friend for about 1/2 years and we had never fallen out… I dunno what I think about it anymore, I have though over it so many times…
Sorry btw if any of this doesn’t make sence, I just start typing and then can’t stop!
